So, now I have this wonderful instrument to play on. I took it to my weekly lesson today with Nick. He's been such a great teacher. Started lessons back in September with him, and have told myself I would keep going, even with my busy season taking away consistency in my practice time (I just think it'd be rude to start practicing in my hotel room at 9:00 at night, ya know?).
So, when I first got the instrument last Saturday, I was playing, and thought that maybe I had gotten it a little too large. My fingers weren't used to stretching that far (I had been using a 16" up until then). I figured that I could discuss it with my teacher today.
So, I bring the instrument in. I discuss how it's been feeling, sharing my concern that maybe I've purchased it a little big. He had me play a song to warm up and "calibrate" on it. As I was playing, he stops me and has me bring my palm away from the neck a little and rotate a bit more parallel with it. That made all the difference in the world! Yes, he had told me that before, but over the weeks I've just slowly forgotten. Playing with that 4th finger was so much easier.
I drove back from my lesson today, quite assured that without a teacher I probably would have quit awhile ago. I'm so thirsty for autonomy. It's a seemingly safer, more controlled way to live. And I think in many things autonomy is what I'm really striving for. But, I think that sometimes, my desire for it can be a bit proud, and keep me from really learning and progressing the way I truly need it. In my mind, it would make sense to just learn on my own--it'd be cheaper and definitely more convenient. So why have I hired a teacher?
1) He knows so much more than I do. Today was a perfect example of that. I never would have caught what I was doing incorrectly with my wrist and palm, and it made all the difference.
2) I need someone who will hold me accountable. I know that I push myself to learn these songs that I'm assigned, where if I were left to myself, I realize that I wouldn't continue onto another piece until I had mastered the one before it. And my teacher is showing me that mastery at first with this instrument is not quite the key--at least not his way. I still continue to progress.
3) I'm committed. Each month when I write that check, I feel the pinch. It's not cheap. So, every practice, every week I really try to make it worth my time.
(Friends, if you're gonna pick up an instrument, even though you might be surrounded by 8 and 10 year olds that play much better than you, getting a teacher and weekly lessons is the way to go.)
This idea struck me in another way as I pondered for a bit more. My weekly commitment to worshiping in sacrament on Sundays is like a weekly viola lesson for my soul. Sunday becomes a day of reckoning and accountability. Everything I've been working on during the week gets, in a sense, laid before the Lord as an offering in a sort of way. And if I didn't practice what He instructed me to do the week before, it really shows. But, as a loving teacher who sees the great potential, he kindly accepts what I did do, allows me to repent and decide to improve where I made mistakes, and gives me suggestions, tips, and guidance for the coming week. And it almost always comes in the form of something a little more challenging than I was working on the week before--be a little more thoughtful of others, try being more consistent in your scripture study, let's cut down our web surfing time this week and replace it with something may be a bit more in line with what you want to accomplish in life, etc.
And I think, "What if I didn't have this weekly lesson, this time with the Teacher?" I guess I'd just be left to myself. The little habits that I let creep into my life would slowly start to make living the way I had originally set out to live more difficult. And then doing good things wouldn't be as enjoyable, or as readily easy. Serving would start to seem less important and "fun." And then before I know it I've decided to just put the instrument on the shelf for awhile and focus on some different things, just because there isn't really enough time anymore for it.
I believe in a Father in Heaven is the master Teacher. He is so patient with me! Shoot . . .
He waits weekly, daily, for me to come to him, to spend time with him, so that I can show him what I've done, not for him, but more for me. Right?! It's for me. And then, since I've decided that it's for me, then he can help point out some ways to improve, and give me some things that will stretch me until the time I "see" Him again, and I'll actually be in a place to want to.
I wonder what other lessons I'm skipping in life, trying to figure out how to do it on my own?
