A little more real...

My faithful readers, whoever you are. Haha.
I've looked back on my blog posts and realized that I'm kind of an intense person.  Okay, maybe not intense, but very serious.  I write about a lot of serious feelings and thoughts.  Just so you know, I'm a dork.  I have a lot of petty feelings, a lot of just normal things that I experience, that are probably worth writing about, but I just choose not to.  Maybe because I don't want you to know the real me, and only want you to see the best part about me.  Who am I trying to impress?  Well, if I was trying to impress someone, my blog wouldn't be the place to do it, because I have zero traffic (No, I'm not trying to get any sympathy on my blog traffic, haha.  But if it works, then great!  Tell your friends.  I've got lots of great things I've written about).

Christmas break is awesome.

I just finished a 1000 piece puzzle with my parents.  They are addicting, aren't they?  If you don't understand what I'm talking about, go buy yourself a big puzzle and start working on it for an hour or so, you'll see what I mean.
Mom and I have enjoyed no school, so we try to watch at least a couple of Robin Hood (BBC) shows a day.  I'm really lovin' the series.  I dare you to watch them and not like them.  I was a skeptic at first, now converted.
I'm trying to get into a nonfiction writeup of Abraham Lincoln's presidency.  It's great getting to know him and understand more of our country's development from that time period.  All the while, I'm dreaming of reading Tolstoy's War and Peace.  I just need to quit this Lincoln stuff and go where my heart wants to go.  Tolstoy is calling... calling...
I started my application process for my CPA exams today.  Hopefully I'll take my first one after I graduate and then finish up the rest of them this summer.  It's all a bit intimidating.  Really.

I am so content.  I stay at home, do my thing.  I have a lot of time to think.  I look out my window and see the  bare trees.  It's kind of drab.  I remember the days when the sun woke up a bit earlier and got me up.  The trees were green.  It was great to go sit outside on the front porch and just soak it in.  It was just me.  I feel like I can't get enough time alone.  Maybe I need a week to just get away from everything and think, to ponder, to pray, to reconnect.  I want to reconnect with myself and with God.  I want to know him better.  I want to know me better.
"What goals do you have for the new year?"
I don't know.  Sure, I want to graduate, I want to pass the CPA exams, learn Beethoven's Sonata Quasi una Fantasia "Moonlite" Op 27 (yada yada), I want to move out on my own and be completely independent from the padres.  Those are good goals.  But those are lifetime goals; not eternal.  They matter, but not really, ya know?  How much of myself, do I know?  What other parts do I want to know?  How can I do that?  Do I know the Savior, really?  Do I trust him?  Do I have faith in him and his gospel?  Who are other people that I need to know?  I bet there are some people out there that I am going to meet that will change my life.  I would like that...  I would like that a lot.
Who can I love more?  Who needs my love?  Who needs a caring heart... a sensitive ear?

How was that at a shot of being a bit more real?  That's maybe a bit more personal than you were expecting, but that's me.

Thanks.