Goals: Week 4

Well, here is the update for the month of January.  I'm still hanging in there!  I was talking with a friend this week and just realized how much this getting up early changes pretty much everything.  Apparently that is when your body functions the best; you do your best thinking.  


I still have a problem with going back to bed later in the morning.  I know it's because I allow myself to think that I can--I'm not being disciplined.  Any suggestions on how to get up and stay up?  I read my scriptures right away usually and sometimes practice the piano to keep my mind awake and "firing," but I usually end up telling myself that I'm sleepy, and then I'm gone!  Any ideas would be great, friends.




The mind is powerful.  What choose to let stay in our minds eventually ends up becoming our actions, indeed.  I've just noticed that so much more this week with this struggle to stay awake in the mornings.  Also, the law of agency, this ability to choose, also does not allow us to escape the consequences of our actions.  There were some evenings where I had a hard time falling asleep by 10:30.  As a result the next day I was more tired from waking up early.  There is really nothing I can do to escape those consequences no matter how much I will it in my mind.  So, yeah, I definitely believe in this idea of thought transforming into action, but there is the caveat of the consequence of our choices.




I had some time to kill yesterday, so I go to take some pictures down in Kansas City near UMKC.  I only had my point and shoot, but I still got some good stuff.  PS: if you're going to Frank A. Theis Park (just south of the Nelson Atkins Museum), you gotta watch you're step this time of year.  Apparently geese love this area; they eat a lot, and you can probably guess where I'm going.  Wow... it was like a minefield.  So, just a warning.


The sun was setting, so there were some beautiful scenes to look at.  There wasn't anything impressive until I started heading north.  Along the bridge along I-35 there was an incredible view.  I was tempted to stop in the middle of the interstate and get out to take a picture.  Then, as the sun started disappearing behind the horizon, the sky started turning purple along with some vibrant oranges and deep blues.  I tried to look at it as much as I could and still drive.  I wanted to burn the image in my mind.  It was spectacular.  I needed a shoulder to pull of on.  Hopefully I'll have that image after the resurrection.

Goals, CPA, and Love

I think the title will make more sense.  They really are all unrelated.

Week three went a lot better!  Because I have you all to write to each week, I was more motivated to work on things.  I gave myself an overall score of 90%.  I'm going to work hard for 100% this week.  One thing that I'm trying to realize while doing this are my motivations.  I think one of the main motivating factors is my accountability to my blog.  I'm not sure how much of that really is driving why I'm doing this.  And if it is driving it, is that Okay?  Maybe that's good as a kick-start to forming a good habit?  Either way, I feel a lot better about myself and the things that I'm getting accomplished.

I started studying for the 1st of 4 CPA examinations today.  I am planning on taking my first text on April 1.  There are 7 lectures.  I'll cover one per week and then give myself a couple of weeks for review.  The lecture sessions each week last about 4 hours, and then the rest of the week I spend studying the material.  I'll have to say that sitting and listening to a DVD today for 4 hours straight was a bit taxing.  I felt like a zombie afterwards. I better get used to this.  This will be life for the next 7 months. :)

I've been trying to understand the concept of love lately and what it means.  Reading in Tolstoy's War and Peace, I found a great perspective of what friendship is and how love should be viewed in it.  

"We don't love people so much for the good they have done us, as for the good we have done them."

I think that up until just recently, I have viewed my relationships with everyone in the view of the first part of this quote.  I have loved them because of what they have done for me.  Truly, the things others do are quite endearing, and bring us closer together.  But, I think I'm starting to realize that the second part of this is exactly right and the truer definition of love.  Love is a choice rather than a feeling.  I think I've heard that before, but never really believed it.  I'm starting to believe it.

Week 2

Friends,

Week 2 has come and gone.  Above I have a visual of how things week.  Not as good as week 1, eh?  On Monday and Tuesday I came down with a flu, so we can see how I decided to let that affect my goals.  Yeah, I decided to sleep in.  Also, in that "Up by 6:30" number, I rated myself lower, because even though I would get up at 6:30, I still went back to sleep an hour or so later.  So, technically I got up, but I defeated the purpose of getting up early by going back to sleep.

They say that it is important that our goals are measurable.  I feel like my goals can be completely measured on an "all-or-nothing" scale, but that takes too much time to record that everyday.  So, I've decided to give myself a rating on my total effort each week in doing these things.  That way I can factor in my intent and also other little "untechnicalities" such as going back to bed or doing a half-hearted service for someone.

I have definitely seen the enthusiasm for doing these things drop (is that a surprise?), but hopefully as I report to you all each week, I'll be a bit more motivated to get those color bands thicker.  I haven't had much temptation with staying out too late on the week days, so that's been easy.  I have started to feel my old habits wanting to creep back in when I think about or not about making my bed and cleaning my room, or just hiding out and not thinking about anybody.  When those thoughts and feelings arise, I have had the distinct declaration come to my mind "You have a choice." That statement is powerful.  It puts emotions and feelings  in their proper place: as subjects rather than king.  It is our agency that has its rightful position upon the throne of our souls, not these fickle emotions, thoughts, and feelings.  I have noticed that I do let them rule quite often = not good.

Additionally, these goals are bleeding into other parts of my life.  I find myself more disciplined when it comes to brushing and flossing my teeth, wearing my retainer, taking my contacts out at night, reading my scriptures, praying, etc.  I'm finding that I want to do them more completely and not just to check them off.  That fact makes me happy because it's actually fulfilling my primary purposes of these goals--which are definitely not to impress any of you. :)

Thank you for your support, friends.  It means a lot.

Goals: Week 1

Guys, things went so well this past week.  My first day of waking up early was incredible.  My dad helped to push me to stay awake the rest of the day.  I go so much done before noon.  It was amazing.  I got my bed made, my room cleaned, did an hour of workout at the gym, read my scriptures (which is so much more awesome in the morning), read some War and Peace, practiced the piano a bit.. It was hard to stay awake; I realized how the struggle was more mental than physical.  I prayed earlier that day for some help in staying awake.  I know the Lord helped me, and he showed me the blessings of doing things his way.

Later on Wednesday I ended up crashing in the morning.  I tried to stay up, but I didn't have anything pushing me to stay awake.  At least I woke up early, right?  I'll get there.

I haven't seen the morning stars in a long time.  That first Monday, I rode to the gym with my parents at 5:30 and just stared up at the stars for a long time.  They were beautiful, and arranged in different patterns that I haven't seen in a long time. :)  Also, a great blessing of waking up early on Friday was being able to see the sunrise (above picture).  My dad called me on his way to work and told me to check it out.  I was so grateful to have seen it!

I feel the Lord and his presence in the morning.  Night time, when I am alone, seems timeless.  Morning time, when I am alone seems magical and energizing.  I think and go about my activities with anticipation and excitement, with vigor.  They are very similar feelings in the way of peace and time, but the morning is has this forward motion about it and building anticipation (as it should, right?).

So, I guess going to bed by 10:30 on Fridays and Saturdays isn't feasible, right?  I had a friend help convince me of that.  Thanks, Erin.  But the goal stands for Sunday through Thursday.  And I'll let myself sleep in on Saturdays until 8:00am

---

Serving has been very fun this week.  It's great to start the day and think, "Ooh! I wonder what I can do for somebody today."  The creative juices start flowing.  I also found that sometimes I didn't have anything planned and an opportunity arose--taking advantage of it was more of an excitement than an obligation.  I'm starting to realize that serving at least once a day is a bit too easy, but I'm going to try and stay consistent with my original goal.

The bed got made every day this week.  One day it didn't happen until 4:00 in the afternoon, but I got it made.  The room DID get cleaned.  That's going to be a challenge, though.  I can feel it starting to annoy me.  It's just nice to be able to be in my own room, to feel the spirit of order and be able to read my scriptures, pray, think, etc., without being distracted by an unmade bed while I kneel on a pile of laundry or something!

---

If you notice I'm not writing about my goals, please kick me in the pants or something.  I'm going to stay accountable to you all.  I want to do this.  What a feeling it is to prove to yourself that you can change, that you can be different.  It's great to be the masters of our bodies and minds.  I Thank the Lord for giving me reason and hope for change.  I'm grateful for his little pushes as I ask him for help with my goals.  He loves me.

I hope you all are doing something different this year that you didn't do last year.  I hope we can change together.  Let's help each other!

New Year's Resolutions

So, I've decided to keep a record of my New Year's resolutions.  Every year I make them, and I'm not sure that I've ever gone through with any of them.  The fact that I can't remember any of them probably means I never did.  So, here's a chance for me to do it for real, and I'm going to take you all along for the journey; keep me accountable.


So, I made my goals simple and small, but that are going to have a big impact on my lifestyle.
1) Start wearing a mo hawk.
2) Start watching The Office so I know what in the heck people are talking about
Wait, scratch those.
Let's start again.


1) Get up by 6:30 every day
2) Go to bed by 10:30 every day
      You know, I'm not sure how these first two goals are going to work on Friday nights and Saturday mornings? Any suggestions of what to do there?
3) Make my bed everyday
4) Keep my room clean weekly
5) Serve someone daily
6) Blog about these goals every week << This is the most critical of them all


I feel like a missionary or a high schooler.  Shouldn't I have figured out how to do these things by now?
All of these relate to a couple attributes that I feel are lacking in my life that are going to help me come to know the Savior better.  I feel like I need more discipline and self-denial.  To me it seems like it has been to easy to just go with the flow of life and not really check myself.  If I'm tired, I should just sleep in.  If I want to stay up, then by golly, I'm going to spend some time with 2am and 3am this morning--stuff like that.  I don't want to clean my room or make my bed for that matter, so I'll just study somewhere else.  Oh, and it's all about me today, I'm tired of thinking about everyone else.  How about that attitude!?  Well, I guess I thought that was the right attitude, and I've painfully realized that it hasn't really helped.  In fact, it's contributed to some very unproductive days, a bit of unhappiness, and a drastic halt in progression at times = not good.  


This realization that I just described above is something beautiful.  It is the illustration of truth and an immensely important reason why I need the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life.  All of us have desires in our hearts.  I think deep down we want to be happy in life.  All of us have personal ways of obtaining that deep desire to be happy.  We've got our own methods.  We, human beings taught by other human beings taught by other human beings, etc., try to come up with eternal principles of happiness on our own sometimes.  I thought that if I just gave in to what my body wanted, that it would make me happy.  Maybe for a little bit, but over time I started to realize that I was getting less done and ultimately feeling less and less fulfilled = not good.
Truth discovery 1: " retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated." -D&C 88:124
No matter how much I wanted to sleep in, I could never achieve the promise of body and mind being invigorated without the fulfillment of the condition: retire early; arise early.


This truth came about through a revelation given through Joseph Smith the prophet.  I'm sure there have been studies done to prove this, but the truth was revealed first.  This truth along with countless others have blessed my life with peace, happiness, and joy - all of the deepest desires of my heart.

---

So, join me on this journey as I discover that these truths of discipline, order, and service are indeed eternal methods of happiness.  I think deep down I know they are true, it's just believing that doing them more often than not doing them will make me happier.  This will take some faith.  


Thank God for a New Year.  Thank God for repentance and the chance to start anew; Thank God for the atonement and sacrifice of his son Jesus Christ who makes New Year's resolutions actually possible.  Yes, only because of Him are these resolutions of mine possible.  I love him.