My annual tradition

Another year.

Today is the anniversary of my birth.  My mortal parents welcomed me into this world 29 years ago.  For so long I had awaited on the other side for my chance, my opportunity.  To grow, to press forward in my eternal desire and passion to become like my Heavenly Father.  I looked up at him in great awe and wanted so much to become like he is.  He made me and all of us that promise.  He provided this world and then a plan to save me from when I would fall and lose my way.  And 29 years ago, I breathed my first mortal breaths.  I inhaled in a new world and soon opened my eyes to see two righteous souls with smiles and weary eyes, full of hope and joy at my presence.  A man and a woman joined together for my cause, to show me the way that they have walked in this plan, in this journey of remembering, of remembering  all that I learned before, and growing in that remembrance to continue with my eternal desire and passion of becoming like my holy parentage.

I thank you God for most this amazing day.

I believe, I trust, I have faith

I say it all the time
I hear it so much
Flows so easily from my lips when I'm on the other side
It's so clear, the answer is simple
He has all power
Omniscient Father
All love

But what happens when the crisis comes?  What happens when the desire must lie dormant for years?  What do I do when the road ahead is foggy, the way unclear, the road ahead a vast open waste with seemingly no anticipated destination or town at least to pass through?

Do I forget the great wisdom that I so freely share?  Do I forget those words so promptly spoken, as if second nature? Oh, that I were like a child again--to believe so readily and wait with pure faith.

"He that will lose his life for my sake shall find it."  Lose myself in this present state, and arrive at the desired destination.

I believe
I trust
I have faith

1 Year Later

I began writing this at 12:00am..  didn't even really mean to.  Just happened to be a year from the last time I wrote.

I wanted to relay an experience I had earlier this week.  Lately, I've been doing a lot more photography.  My opportunities have grown, and, consequently, my desire to be better.  I've found myself coming home after work, getting something to eat and just looking at tutorials, playing around with my camera, until midnight.  I fall in bed worn out and tired, getting up around 6:00 the next day.  I've learned a few things, but one of them came so unexpectedly.  I got home one evening, didn't have anything to do that night.  So, what do I do with all this time?  I was kind of lost.  I felt a magnetic pull to my scriptures and to a lesson I'll be giving on Sunday.  I sat and studied my scriptures.  I paused and thanked the Lord for the feeling I felt as I pondered and read.  It was a serene peace.  I finished up a good study.  It was 9:00, and I thought to myself, "Wow, I don't have any desire to really do anything else.  I could go to bed right now."  It was such an odd thought, as most nights I find myself staying up late trying to pack in as many things as I can.  

As I pondered this feeling, I realized what was happening.

"Wherefore, do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy.  Hearken diligently unto me, and remember the words which I have spoken; and come unto the Holy One of Israel, and feast upon that which perisheth not, neither can be corrupted, and let your soul delight in fatness."

This verse became so real and alive to me.  All of these tutorials, studying, posting, editing, shooting--a great hobby that is wholesome--was not bringing me the complete satisfaction I wanted.  I found myself wanting more and more, and it never really leaving me satisfied.  I was happy, but there was always that drive to get more.  But here, I had studied for about an hour or so, and was left full of "fatness."  It was such a stark reality of the truthfulness of the scriptures.  I was amazed and very humbled at what I had been taught.

Truly, our Heavenly Father knows what will "fill" us.  Through obeying his commandments, I can understand how to have this peace and satiated feeling always.

Just Once a Year

When I've talked with anybody today about how my birthday went, I can't really describe it.  It started on Tuesday and hasn't stopped.  I had a friend make me an incredible cake and decorate HER house.  How, cool?  I had another friend take me on a surprise visit downtown Kansas City to view the Nelson.  It was so awesome, and she fed me the best picnic I've ever had:  a BLT with probably a pound of bacon! and a whole batch of peanut butter cookies. ha.  It's so cool to see how much your friends really know you... kind of surprised me.  Got to work a full 8 hours at work today, a cupcake specially delivered from another good friends.  The most impactful gift came from the most beautiful greeting from my Heavenly Father.  I had a sunrise in the east and a rainbow in the southwest this morning.  They only lasted 20 minutes or so.  I drove to work and looked off to the east as much as I could without being hazardous.  I was almost moved to tears as I soaked in the tranquil beauty of it.  It spoke to me, great love, words that I cannot even write.  I listened to Trinity College's rendition of "Hymn to the Eternal Flame" (Thanks to Matt Nielsen) as I drove and stared at the beautiful rays reaching up in the sky, chasing away the night's darkness...  It was very allegorical, very moving.

I came home to streamers and balloons.  I spent the evening with my family out to eat a great restaurant; we were completely ridiculous together.

Mom made an angel food cake for me.  Absolute favorite.

I am filled with great joy, overwhelmed with the love of my family and friends.  There are so many well wishes and greetings that were so special, so thoughtful.  I wish I could name each of them right now.  Thank you everyone.  Birthday's are for feeling special, unique, important, loved.  That has happened today.

Oh Frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!

Morgan and Bryanna Rainey

Winter Quarters Temple | Omaha, NE

I love this one...  They are looking into the stain glass of the celestial room.  It is a depiction of the Tree of Life.

Opening the Aperture a Little More

[Journal entry dated July 14, 2011]


I had a wonderful talk with [my brother] Ben last night into the early hours of the morning.  We discussed much of the character of God and how we can more fully exercise faith in Him.  We talked about the ability that we are given to view people in a "more-than-now" type of sense.  There is this spiritual and mental capacity that is gifted from God to see people in an eternal context.  The mind opens up and lets the past as well as the future start to paint our view of others.  It paints a clearer picture.

We also talked about how the desire for sin decreases as our spiritual aperture opens up and our lens widens.  When we can see ourselves and life in a greater plain and more eternally, the thought of sin seems ridiculous, for we realize our divine destiny and potential--who we really ARE.  The path to get there becomes much more clear.  When we act out of emotion or because of the present circumstance only, we are viewing life, ourselves, and others out of focus, with less light and perspective.

Mosiah 1:5-7 helps to show us how we can remember that eternal perspective, widen our lens, and let in more light.  If we keep the His words constantly before our eyes, we are reminded of our divine potential.  So, not only physically before us, but also figuratively before us.  Our thoughts should begin to assume the role of scripture.  In other words, we should begin to view life through the words of Christ.  As we do, we will understand what we are to do everyday.

I'm grateful for the Truth that has been restored through Joseph Smith.  The fullness of the gospel of Jesus Christ that he primitively established on earth has been restored once again and allows us all to see life through the lens of God, of our loving Father in Heaven.  We can learn to see as He and our Savior sees, which is the only true, clear, and correct vision.


[As pointed out by a reader, there are some technical inaccuracies in my analogy that I'll fix later when I have the chance.  So, don't use this analogy as a source of accurate information regarding photography fundamentals.  I'm definitely new to this field.]

Lytro

So, I can't go to sleep... to much anxiety about my exam.  So, I decided to clear my mind by looking into a new camera that is projected to come out sometime this year:  Lytro's Light Field.  It's intriguing.  You just point and shoot.  It's sensors pick up the intensity and all other sorts of information about the light coming in.  Afterward, you can take the picture and focus it however you want to..  If you want to focus on something in the background or foreground, you just select that area on the picture and you've got an entirely different picture.
My opinion?  I don't have a ton of experience in photography to merit any weighty opinion, but sometimes I sure wish I had that option with some of the pictures I've taken.  I'm just wondering if a point-and-shoot camera can really produce the same quality that SLRs put out?  The most fun in shooting is picking what to focus on and creating the composition that way.  The Light Field seems like it will take big chunk of the art of out photography.  I don't imagine it will be used by professional photographers.
Would I buy one?  Depends on how expensive it is.  They say it will be competitive with other point and shoots cameras.  That must be somewhere between $200 and 300?  It wouldn't be my first choice of camera.  I'd rather buy a new lens for an SLR.  Who knows...  maybe this camera will be as revolutionary as they say.

Check it out for yourself.

Interview with Lytro rep:  http://www.pcworld.com/article/231245/eight_questions_about_lytros_lightfield_camera.html

Lytro's interactive website (you can play with the pictures on their website to see how it will work)
http://www.lytro.com/